sweet as a eucalyptus, terrible as a tempest
"Hello, may i speak with [eunmi's very long full name here]?"
"Yes, this is she, may i know who's on the line?"
"This is X from the Company. The Company President and the Director would like to interview you on Friday. Are you free?"
Wow, my full name. haven't heart that in a very long time. Yes i'm free. Can i get the Company's address. Do you have parking. Thank you see you.
Panic mode!!! i'm not ready to see the world yet! i'm not ready to let go of the zen of my hermitry...
For the first time, i'm really, really panicking.
So, why am i being interviewed by the president?!?
You see that's what happens when you email resumes to the addresses of company presidents.
Which you thought would just be trashed. It was a shot you took with closed eyes and crossed fingers. A shot you thought would miss. You thought you'd call HR this week to really apply.
Well, you know maybe it's my lot to work with the big bosses. herher.
Need i mention the many ways i can bungle this interview?
I have nothing to wear! what will i say? what shall i bring?
What shall my answers be when asked all sorts of questions i'm not prepared to truthfully answer without spilling my heart-wrenching guts??
and I need verbal loperamide. Dear mouth, what shall i do with thee???
God, sobra ka naman manggulat!
the last time i was interviewed i only had in my mind that i needed to get a job. but now, i want this Company. and being rejected is not an option.
and being rejected will plunge me to the very depths of the marianas trench.
Panic aside, i'm really happy too. and excited. i'm afraid!
this past year has made me into a softie and a weakling, unconfident, insecure twit.
where's the stable, cool, confident eunmi gone to?
she's taken a hike.
i'm so totally ji shin ga zenzen nai.
and maybe this is good, so that finally, "In my weakness He is strong," can prove true to my life.
of salutations and greetings
but of nothing, really.
ah but today i celebrate
turn my frown upside down
for my public
and God sayeth unto you
"you ungrateful little wench!"
"i shall give you something to really cry about soon"
around you souls are leaving
too soon too sudden
around you souls are being sucked
too leisurely too painfully slow
but you. hold your world still
trap your time in that blasted intranook
of stagnation
and you ask
where did your january go?
the nerve!